To Mother

I was harmful today because I could not deal with the pain.

I am sorry and for that please forgive me again,

I’ve never needed you so much.

The impeccability of my words I forgot because I could not refrain,

When I spoke these words so that my consciousness had all to gain,

I’ve never felt so much regret.


You are my perfect raindrop regardless of the toxic rain, for like you I have never met another. It has never been your fault for loving me so much– this love that you emmanate so willingly. When I spoke those words, your frail heart I did crush and I am ever so sorry for that. I have only myself to blame for this pain that I know I caused you. I know that to you my words will always surmise, but to me they mean nothing.

There has never been such an impeccable beauty like yours. An aging tree witnessing all natural terrors; mother, I need you today. You gave your life up for mine and his and you suffer so gratefully each and every day. You are my perfect raindrop while the rain falls and I know that when you reach the ground, the trees and the earth will all mourn. I will forever hold you suspended in mid-air and I will protect you as all of the raindrops attempt to harm you in ambush.

It’s times like these in which I don’t believe in God, but I believe in you. You believe so strongly in that entity, but your mind is broken. God didn’t do this to you, it was life. Such is this cruel thief that robs you of your happiness and of your health. How can I rejoice in something that harms you so, mother?

I’ve never believed in anything more strongly than you. I needed to hurt you to realize that and now I’m deserting you. I’m sorry for this, please forgive me? I’ve never loved like you do and I know that I have broken your frail and precious heart. Your soul is stronger than the diamonds you have never had and I wish I could give you all that I am made of.

Mother, my kind and genuine mother… You have hurt me so by hiding your unbearable pain– yet you bear it and like no other. I can never blame you again because now my heart is breaking. I’m such a selfish fiend for robbing you of your chance at a normal life, a life that no matter how normal, would never be good enough for you. You have shattered my heart, a heart not nearly as frail as yours. You have kissed my hair and comforted me all these years, but what have I done for you?

You see, when the rain falls it is your pain that showers my face as it comes down from my eyes.

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