My lover is ugly. He is especially ugly when mentioning all of the potential lovers and their flaws. “He’s dirty… He’s ugly… He’s stupid… He has an STD” are all disgusting phrases that spew out of his mouth like the vomit of his messed up feelings. My lover is dirty and does not use soap when he showers, he does not like getting wet, and he is mean and emotionally unstable.
When visiting my lover, I see a could-have been lover coming out of the shower. He glistens when his body is wet with the droplets that came out of the showerhead. He smiles and his dimples are so deep and his jawline so strict that I swoon. I enter my lover’s room and he is blowing his nose as he throws the toilet paper onto all of the places that have not been tainted yet.
I would say that loving my lover is not quite loving anything at all. In fact, it is more like a chore from which I get no reward. Once in a while when it is convenient he will say or do something nice and I become more entrenched in the tendrils of his rotting heart. My lover does not listen to my opinion when I tell him I am not okay with him leaving his mess all over my room. He leaves everything nonetheless and proceeds in pretending that he is the victim in his real-life game of chess.
I hope his next lover helps him change and become something beautiful. My lover is a rat; he is sneaky and lacks respect and manners. Everything is simply an object that he can use when he pleases and throws aside when he finds a new shiny bead. He is not really a lover; he is more like a child punching walls in tantrum.
I want no more lovers. No more remembrances of him or the things he used to do. I am dizzy from this merry-go-round.