Four Years = Four Seconds

A lot can happen in four years. We can leave all we know to explore a lifestyle impractical where we come from. We make new friends who leave a lasting mark on our minds. We fall in and out of love. Life becomes a crisis and a blessing and we move on. When we near the end of this journey we know that a new one waits. In four years I have learned that I am human and not a goddess. I have delved in the world of the spirits to learn things that I’ve never been taught by another. I have distracted my broken heart and mended it and fallen in love with new moments.

With only two months left I realize that four years is as short as four seconds. I can see it in my minds eye: during sleep, when I walk towards a destination, and when I see a face I used to live for. What’s coming after, I cannot exactly say. I know that these memories will stay with me until I am burned or buried or underneath the sea. Looking back on four years I realize that life is about goodbyes because that means that at some point there were hellos said and moments created.

We can create and manipulate time. We live in the memories that plague or please us and in the present there is still the past. I learned that time is not linear, that love is not eternal, that flames will always burn even when they’re stomped out. Flames can burn in new ways without the characteristics that we make for them. We metamorphosed as the winds changed and as we were told that it was over or different or new. With every experience we became unique individuals who viewed the world in ways that become farther from the truth of the rest, but in ways that were equally realistic all the same.

They said we couldn’t move mountains and that we needed to learn where our abilities stopped. We screamed back that mountains were just a figment of our imagination, but some of us climbed these structures and threw ourselves off. I learned that friendship can last a lifetime and that believing in people could be ephemeral—and most importantly that it was okay. We learned to swim against the current, but some of us fell into tandem with what we were told by friends or mentors without asking any questions. Luckily, time is not linear like people and we can break the rhythms and create asymmetries or we can fall in line. Four years is as short as four seconds.


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