How can you dare throw in my face that you find it repulsing to have my lips on his skin? Did you think I didn’t see your filthy hands over her body and your tongue up her nose? All this time you spoke of rationality as if it were your second language or your cult, but I asked you then: where is your God when you let your “feelings” overpower the reality of things? To that you responded that you were rational, but that it didn’t change the emotions flowing through your body. I asked you why you judged me and stamped me “emotional” and wondered if it was because I am a woman. You retorted that you hurt me like that for only a little while, but you knew you were lying. This is just like when you knew you were lying about the girls you called “sunshine” or “princess” while you tried putting the pieces of your demise back together. Yes, your “heart” was “broken”, but frankly you dug the pit you festered in.
Honey, if you wanted to be mine all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to assume that I would love you all the same like when we were naïve. There is no love for you in me left, at least not the one that couples tend to share. It’s a miracle that I gave you the chance to enter through a window of my heart in order to creep to my ear. Once there you could have whispered praises and kind words as well as have added an apology that has been years overdue, but you wanted to scream and bust my eardrum. Did you think I couldn’t hear you or see your fantasies in your eyes? I crushed those like the rose petals I wrote about, mixed it with alcohol, and drank them as I stumbled into his room. The crevices of his body kept me warm at night and I burned like fire, opposite to the musty scents of your room. You are a cold mist that makes me shiver with discomfort. Your water droplets made me feel like waterfalls, always falling and making my way down as I was let down by your sick sense of humor once again. Well, I guess the joke’s on you baby.