There are times when the sun is setting and the dust is settling that we start to walk down the stairs to make-believe underground tunnels. We hope they connect to people in our lives that we have lost in the literal and figurative sense. Every evening we descend into a darkness replete with thoughts dying to light up our minds. We ask why, why, why? How could they? What brought this forth? As we allude to a different kind of darkness emanated from someone we may have once known.
I sip my tea infused with flower petals and the aroma is enough to bring me to weep as my groans can’t be contained within my raw throat anymore. I pondered loss, grief, and pain and I delved more deeply into these emotions so that I could resurface stronger. I tried to delude myself a million times into thinking they were evil or so fucked up they cared for no one but themselves. We all know whom I speak of. I know that’s not the case, it can’t be it. People are not inherently evil; people feel pain in different ways and they can’t always contain their grief. Maybe one day when they stop grieving me we can talk again. I will always love the memory even if it’s no longer reality. When that sun rises once again I will smile at the powers that be and I’ll welcome them with open arms. People grieve in different ways.
So just let the pain flow out in whichever way your body and soul see it best and with it create what you’d like to see. Know that pain happens to us all and that you are never alone. About 7.1 billion people take these sorrows and garden them so that the soil may purify these thorny seeds to grow into the smoothest and most aromatic hues ever known to humankind. Let the pools of your dreams become puddles of stars that illuminate dark skies for the next lost traveler. Let these pools take your scars off of your skin to paint a history of all the positive things that happened before these spiritual-emotional films became sour. And don’t forget that lemons have healing properties. Just know that I’m no longer angry, just very, very sad.