Cracked Photographs

I looked at our old pictures and nearly fell in love again,

A whirlwind of butterflies so bittersweet—oh the pain.

I guess all that I dreamt of was a waste and in vain.

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Half-Baked Innocence

Today I smiled at the thought of deserts consuming entire cities.

It’s not up to you to fix what you did not break. It’s not up to you to chase what does not want to be followed nor to lose your peace for those with no peace in their hearts.

What you’re meant to do is to live well and freely without shackles imposed on you by others. You are meant to cut the threads connecting their words to your head so that you may think truly without their hidden agendas influencing your actions.

You don’t deserve a half-baked innocence.

Enduring

From where enters your strength, your will to live? It reminded of how battered and bruised I have been. A memory of black clouds coming down onto me haunts my head and I had hoped that I had healed that trauma, but they asked me: where does that strength come from? There were no good answers to that question. Perhaps it was this ancestral DNA or my mother’s mitochondrial DNA that let me live though the struggle. How ungrateful I must seem, to have that survivor’s will and to hate the act of having to survive. She must look at me with disdain or maybe with pity at knowing that her scars are inscribed into my genetic makeup too.

Why have you stayed? I am asked this question, not in so many words. Sadly, no responses escape because I hold the gates tightly shut for fear of being seen as the fool. Who could have thought that this would be the woman striving to bear the fruits of my labor—so hindered by a simple soul?

Wishing for Rain

I don’t take drastic measures, they must seem that way. I only take measures to reach what I hope to achieve. Last year I learned when I should cut back the ill growth of this fragrant rose bush that I am trying to cultivate. I have already learned this year when to let go of leaves that are meant to fall. For the greater good, I make choices because there is no point in holding on to thinly dangling foliage. I have also been in the process of learning how to fertilize and in learning when it is necessary to cut back excessive growth–My roots dig in deeper into this rich soil. It is all love in this horizon; it’s just that love sometimes might hurt a little in some places. I hope I have the willpower to heed the words of the wise and the courage to stand alone as I cultivate this Golden Celebration.

Medusa

Like me, never another one

I have learned this the hard way

They all seek me when I’m gone

But my mind they’ll never sway.

Like me, forever coming undone,

They ask me to always stay

But I’ll keep severing this bond

Come whatever may.

For me, they always turn to stone

As I go through my day to day

Because this goddess, they’ll never own

She will always keep these feelings at bay.

Dark Beauty

She was an inspiration to me.

Her easygoing nature

The darkness within her

Still, she lived unforgivingly.

 

Norms did not impede her like they did me.

Her dress was dark and long

The photographs with him

Still for Love, she lived willingly.

 

I wanted her courage.

Her ability to simply be

The human she wanted

Still, there I sat longingly.

Diosa Lunera

Like the moon, occult and distant from ways typical to normality, you shine. The light is not yours to keep, yet you let its colors drape over your silvery surface. So barren and still and not fully colonized, but a spectacle for all, you continue to be. Unaware of those eyes that marvel at your excellence do you purposely hide? Your phases are logical, and you enchant your lovers to their duality, yet you allow the wolves to chase—but what of the “moonless” nights? The clouds are your cover, the rain your screen, but still I wonder if you don’t secretly hope that they look where you have been.

 

Quédate, quédate luna que los lobos te buscan y en el silencio mi corazón late por tu presencia. Contigo siento el amor que por tanto tiempo no he conseguido encontrar. Te busco y te encuentro con mi cabeza bajo mar. Seguí las olas hasta tu paraíso. Ya se que mi idea del cielo es tu soledad.